Why can’t I get you to leave me alone
get out of my head
get OUT of my home
my heart is weary, wrestling with you
my gut is sick, thinking about you
I wish I could return you, but I’m stuck with you

I wish I could go back to where I picked you up, and drop you 
I want an upgrade, I want a newer you
why can’t i stop thinking about you.
I wish I could refuse to carry you 
You are standing in my way.
I can’t get past you

Why can’t i beat the loneliness you left me with
Why can’t i find my way again
Why can’t i handle the darkness of this 
Why can’t i shake this anxiousness 
Why can’t i lay in my bed and get rest from this

I can’t handle the restlessness
I’m over it.
I’m over your games
I’m over here praying
I’m over here saying

Go ahead and kill me
You’ve poked your head in and disrupted me 
You’ve barged your way into every part of me
I tried to cut the cord but you snuck through the back door
I should have locked it.
you’ve crept your way into my spirit
i see you lingering in my marriage
i feel you mocking my friendships
i thought I left you back there, somewhere,
i was wrong.

you made a way into my future.
How can I get past you?
Why do you linger?
But I can’t get over my PAST OR the hurt
These people, they look up to me 
and I’m trying to be what they see
but I can’t be what they want me to be
i’m no good, you see.

you stole my life,
you took it away from me
you gave me anxiety
and you tried to kill me
you might still live inside of me 
But you will die, for the life of me. 
You’ve lived here long enough.
I’m evicting you
Go back to where you came from.
I’m done with you

I’m resting. 
I’m resting in the reality 
that a savior has placed hope inside me
I can breathe again
my lungs are filled with praise again
the old me can’t hold me
and my past can’t control me
I’m throwing away everything that you sold me
And I’m running to the only thing I see
Christ, who is for me.
If Christ is for me, who can stand against me?
Not you, or myself or my enemy
Because his glory lives inside of me
So please,

Goodbye, past.